When Can I Go Home?


Non-Fiction - Autobiography
256 Pages
Reviewed on 06/27/2011
Buy on Amazon

This author participates in the Readers' Favorite Free Book Program, which is open to all readers and is completely free. The author will provide you with a free copy of their book in exchange for an honest review. You and the author will discuss what sites you will post your review to and what kind of copy of the book you would like to receive (eBook, PDF, Word, paperback, etc.). To begin, click the purple email icon to send this author a private email.

This author participates in the Readers' Favorite Book Review Exchange Program, which is open to all authors and is completely free. Simply put, you agree to provide an honest review an author's book in exchange for the author doing the same for you. What sites your reviews are posted on (B&N, Amazon, etc.) and whether you send digital (eBook, PDF, Word, etc.) or hard copies of your books to each other for review is up to you. To begin, click the purple email icon to send this author a private email, and be sure to describe your book or include a link to your Readers' Favorite review page or Amazon page.

This author participates in the Readers' Favorite Book Donation Program, which was created to help nonprofit and charitable organizations (schools, libraries, convalescent homes, soldier donation programs, etc.) by providing them with free books and to help authors garner more exposure for their work. This author is willing to donate free copies of their book in exchange for reviews (if circumstances allow) and the knowledge that their book is being read and enjoyed. To begin, click the purple email icon to send this author a private email. Be sure to tell the author who you are, what organization you are with, how many books you need, how they will be used, and the number of reviews, if any, you would be able to provide.

    Book Review

Reviewed by Anne Boling for Readers' Favorite

Joseph J. Sivak offers readers a glimpse into the life of a caretaker and a doctor. He was only seventeen when he became his mother's caretaker. She was in her early sixties when she was diagnosed with Alzheimer's disease. He and his siblings noticed a drastic change in her after the death of her husband. At first they attributed it to grief, but eventually they had to admit it was something much more serious.

In his memoir Sivak shares the heartache and the pain of being a caretaker. When you have to tell a loved one she can no longer drive, she will often react with anger. The victim is frightened and lonely for she is losing control of her own life. Often the victim (I use this term because I have witnessed the way the disease ravishes the patient) feels as if everyone is against her. The role of caretaker is one of constant vigilance, for the patient can wander away at any moment and not know where she is, how she got there, or even who she is. The pain of watching a loved one slip away is indescribable. As the disease advances the patient's bodily functions begin to "forget" how to function. The patient will often forget to eat, and at an advanced stage, may have a problem swallowing liquids. She can no longer control her bowels and eventually loses the ability to converse with others. The picture of Alzheimer's is not pretty and when it is someone you love, it is even uglier.

Sivak and several of his siblings are physicians. This makes his memoir unique for he can also relate to the discomfort of the physician who often has to be the bad guy. The physician is the one who signs his name at the bottom of the page. The physician is the one blamed for the patient not being able to drive. He or she is also the one who has to break the bad news to the family. Sometimes the family accepts the diagnosis with resignation; sometimes it is with anger and sometimes relief to at last knowing what is wrong.

Sivak weaves together his joint role as caregiver and physician. His story will be of great benefit to other caregivers. He still is not overly sentimental, and yet, it was easy to see the love and frustration he experienced in dealing with his mother. He uses the phrase "living ghost" to describe the last of his mother' life. I found that poignant. It is an excellent description. I found it easy to relate to Sivak's story, for I too have watched someone I love slowly slip away. I've often said I lost her ten years ago, and that death will be a healing and a release; and yet, like Sivak and his family, I will never be ready for her death. It was easy to feel the compassion Sivak has for his patients. He truly believes the patient should be more than a number; a patient is an individual with feelings and someone's loved one. I empathize with Sivak, and I commend him. This book touched me deeply.