In her moving, brave work, October Will Never Be the Same, Kathleen Janz-Anderson retraces her son’s last steps, exploring possible reasons that could have led him to take his life while discussing her deep grief following his death. On October 14, 2014, Anderson’s life was forever changed when she learned about her son’s death. Chad was a loving and lively man who tried to help those in his life, but the weight of carrying others’ burdens, plus the impact of the trauma he suffered, became too much to bear. Anderson opens up about her continuous struggle to face her unimaginable loss and her battle with guilt. She explains how her faith and journaling her thoughts helped her find ways to live through her immeasurable grief.

The book explores an important topic with honesty and tenderness. Through palpable descriptions, Anderson explains the depth of the grief she experienced and offers helpful ways for coping with the pain of losing a loved one through suicide. Family members and parents who have faced similar situations will be able to relate to Anderson’s feelings and find hope in her story. I appreciated the important advice on warning signs of suicide and how to move forward after loss. The work is also a beautiful tribute to Chad, including his impact on his family and friends. October Will Never Be the Same by Kathleen Janz-Anderson is a hopeful and insightful work that includes essential themes about the effects of trauma, suicide, loss, and grief. It is powerful, well-written, and enlightening.

Losing a loved one to the cold hands of death is a very painful experience, more so when you see the warning signs but choose to hope against all odds that the situation surrounding that loved one will improve. For Kathleen Janz-Anderson, it was the loss of her son, Chad. She knew there were problems with her son’s personal life, and as much as she wanted to intervene, she held back, believing all would be well. When she received the news of his suicide, her world imploded. She struggled to accept her loss, sometimes contemplating following the same path. Her road to recovery involved documenting her experiences. October Will Never Be the Same is that book.

You can feel the pain seeping through the pages of Kathleen Janz-Anderson’s book. She expresses herself clearly, describing the different emotions she experienced while coming to terms with her tragedy. It is almost impossible not to shed a tear when reading. She is analytic in her presentation as she outlines the symptoms that created the ticking time bomb she could not defuse. What is most touching about this book is how she owns up to her portion of the blame for what happened to Chad. She talks about incidents that grieving parents are familiar with, but even better than that, she talks about the methods she used to break out of the grieving cycle. These methods may not be orthodox but will go a long way toward helping others in a similar situation. Dealing with death and its aftermath is never easy, but with October Will Never Be the Same, Kathleen lets others know they are not walking alone.