My Whorizontal Life: An Escort’s Tale

Book One: The first sex months

Non-Fiction - Memoir
176 Pages
Reviewed on 04/24/2019
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Author Biography

Sephe Haven is an actress from a really fine drama school who took a break to pay off her student loans and lost track of time. Eventually she began telling stories, doing stand up, and writing this memoir. She has chosen to remain under a pen name so she can talk freely about the times she spent doing the work of love and pleasure.

    Book Review

Reviewed by Romuald Dzemo for Readers' Favorite

Bold, sizzling, and candidly narrated, My Whorizontal Life is the first book in An Escort’s Tale series by Sephe Haven, a memoir that covers the author's first six months as an escort. Readers are pulled into the author's search for love through the most unlikely path: prostitution. The story starts with the setting and the timeline of New York City in the late 1980s. Sephe is an idealistic, empathic young woman blinded by her desire for fantasy and romance, fearful of the “real world,” who dreams of true love and being an actress extraordinaire. But just after her Juilliard graduation, poverty and debt overwhelm her and she takes what she thinks will be a very limited leap into the underground world of escorting. But she finds it’s not so easy to get out of it. And maybe she doesn’t want to?

Thus begins a memoir that is told in a compelling, humorous voice, each line calculated, well written and packed with wit. The humor greets the reader right from the start with the failed waitressing job and the meanness the author thinks the world reserves for her, for she can't understand that after having spent a good time with a man and shared laughter, then he dumps her. That is what sucks more than the meanness...it's the dumping. The levity, the lightness and the humor with which the story is told had me reading on. She makes readers buy into her worldview, sit at her feet and listen to her story. With candor and honesty, Sephe Haven leads readers into the dilemmas of her life along with the difficult choice of taking the path of an escort. The prose is awesome, alluring and infused with sexiness. It is interesting how the author transforms a painful journey into something that is fun and entertaining and, at times, the reader wonders if this is a real-life narrative or fiction. My Whorizontal Life made me want to meet this author. She is so genuine, so honest, and so funny that even a saint would want to listen to her story.

Viga Boland

When you spot a book title such as My Whorizontal Life: An Escort’s Tale by Sephe Haven, you can’t help but be intrigued. Will it contain salacious details of hot sex, prostitution style? Will it shock or titillate? Will it deteriorate into a series of repetitious sexual encounters? Or is this just another author cashing in on the general public’s appetite for sexsational stories? Well, it’s none of those! In fact, it’s a highly enjoyable, rather touching memoir by a woman who had her heart set on becoming an actress, a graduate of Juilliard who actually has considerable talent but who, like so many other women, sees her dreams crushed by a glamour-based industry which places looks above talent. When you can no longer pay rent, buy food or pay off the massive pile of debt acquired as a student, what do you do? How can you not be drawn to ads that promise earnings of $1000 a week? Sephe takes the bait and quickly finds herself earning great money. To her surprise, she finds the work is not as horrible as she anticipated, but readers will find themselves wondering, in some instances, how she could stand some of the men she has to service like filthy hoarders and mean-mouthed misfits with chips on their shoulders.

But Sephe succeeds in making even these men happy because she has a unique talent: her attractiveness goes well beyond her looks. It’s about her sensitivity to other human beings whom life has treated unkindly. She discovers their real needs and it’s not really for sex. What is it? That’s the beautiful and really interesting part of My Whorizontal Life, a book I read in one day! Between Sephe Haven’s gift for humor, her insights into human nature, her ability to move the story along quickly through dialogue and still give us realistic, likable characters is excellent. As indicated in the sub-title, this book is the first of two books (or more?) and Sephe Haven includes a few chapters from the sequel at the end to whet our appetites. By the looks of those preview chapters, that sequel will be just as much fun and as interesting as this first book. Haven can add my name to new fans. I predict she’s going to have many more and deservedly so. Don’t hesitate to select My Whorizontal Life the next time you’re dying to read something different that is both entertaining and informative…always a winning combination when it’s as well done as this book is.

Ray Simmons

I thoroughly enjoyed Book One of Sephe Haven’s My Whorizontal Life series. The first book in the series is called The First Sex Months and it is a surprise and a delight to read. I loved it. The first-person point of view and Sephe’s voice make this book a superior read. It can be as exhilarating and as sad as sex itself. It moves from one absurd but totally real and practical situation to the next with smooth transitions that will leave you scratching your head at the sheer ridiculousness of the human experience. I laughed, cried, and worried with Sephe. I was fraught with anxiety at her auditions. Both in her “real” life and her nightlife. She is a modest but very modern-day heroine and I hope to read more of her story in the future. When you decide to read a book with a title like The First Sex Months that is part of a series called My Whorizontal Life, you just don’t know what you’re going to get. Will it be gritty? Depressing? Sad? I was pleasantly surprised to feel it was more triumphant than anything else.

Sephe Haven writes really well, but that realization sneaks up on you and the surprise is a delight. Sephe’s voice and tone make a combination that is woven together to create a seamless masterpiece. All of the elements of a good story are here. Quirky characters, ridiculous dilemmas, an unlikely but totally believable life, and a spunky, slightly naive, but ultimately strong and very likable protagonist. Sephe is beautiful. Sephe is smart. She is worthy of the life she dreams of, but she just doesn't know it yet.

Rabia Tanveer

My Whorizontal Life: An Escort's Tale: The First Sex Months by Sephe Haven is a unique kind of memoir and I applaud the author for coming forward and sharing her story with us. She definitely gives us a different perspective on how we perceive the escort business, what goes on behind the scenes and the high-profile glitz and glamour we see. This could have been a very dark story, but Sephe has done a brilliant job at making her story compelling while at the same time keeping it real and raw.

In a story set in the 1980s, New York City, Sephe Haven just graduated from Juilliard with the hopes and dreams of making it big, becoming an actress and finding true love. However, unbeknownst to her, real life was waiting for her. Soon, Sephe was fighting to eat, losing her footing, and drowning in debt. While waitressing offered a source of income, it wasn’t enough. So she decided to try her luck in the escort service, only to find that getting in is easier than getting out. She had no idea what she should do and how she should navigate such an environment. But one thing she knew, she was not a quitter.

Sephe Haven wrote a compelling story, one that had me immersed from the get-go. The flow was just perfect. By the time I reached the middle of the story, it was as if I personally knew her. I could picture her expressions, her dilemmas, and feel her emotions. I was so invested and absorbed in her story that I lost track of time. Usually, memoirs are dry and the reader needs to focus, but not this one. The narrative is so smooth that I just kept on reading and was sad when her story ended. I hope Sephe Haven will write more because her writing style is just so enjoyable.

Gisela Dixon

My Whorizontal Life: An Escort’s Tale by Sephe Haven is a non-fiction memoir written by Sephe of her foray into prostitution. In this book, Sephe writes about her dream to get into a prestigious acting school, become an actress and an artist, and she describes her journey through her college years. In spite of getting into the prestigious Julliard School as she wanted, her career doesn’t take off as expected and she finds herself in a ton of debt. This is when she decides to answer an advertisement for escort services and quickly finds herself working long shifts as a prostitute. This is her book about her thoughts, feelings, and experiences navigating this new world.

I liked My Whorizontal Life: An Escort’s Tale and think it is a great book. Sephe has written a candid account of her experience so far with prostitution and the shadowy, underground world in which it takes place. Although Sephe has admitted the high as well as low points in her life and career, overall she seems to be content with her life as it turned out. While this is great for her, the book also provides an insight into the tragic aspects of life as a prostitute for many others who live on the fringes of society without any hope of a better life, as well as the real risks involved in doing this. I also appreciated that Sephe has chosen to talk about her so-called friend to who she confided her secret and his judgmental behavior is once again a sad reflection of an unfair and sexist society that condemns the women involved in this, but never the men. Sephe writes candidly and engagingly and I am looking forward to reading more books from her.

Jamie Michele

My Whorizontal Life: An Escort’s Tale; Book One: The First Sex Months by Sephe Haven is an autobiographical memoir detailing the author's time as a sex worker. Set in 1980's Manhattan, Haven stumbles across a wanted ad for escorts in the paper after losing her second waitressing job. Swimming in debt and with little else to sell, her body (as opposed to a never-used guitar and Julliard acting chops) will end up paying the bills. Haven, with acerbic sarcasm and a wholly authentic voice, walks us through her first months working as a professional, high-end prostitute, allowing readers the opportunity to be a fly on the wall in a room where the door is usually tightly closed.

My Whorizontal Life by Sephe Haven is a supremely fun read. The narrative is raw and funny, unpretentious and wonderfully enlightening. The characters—some real, some a combination of many—are described to the hilt, drawing on a decade of excess and poised to elicit as much nostalgia as it does drama. There is a genuine element of desperation that initially gets Haven through the door of what is, essentially, an out-call waiting room of a bonafide cathouse. As the story progresses and Haven grows into her role and into herself as an independent woman, we are able to witness the good and bad of an industry we are rarely able to witness at all. There is no question I will read the book that follows this one, and recommend this installment to all those who love true life stories that are far more entertaining than the best fiction.

Diane Coogan

Extremely well-written. Could NOT put it down and didn't want it to end. The author writes in a sensitive, compelling, humorous & honest way. Very enlightening as well....you put yourself in the author's shoes and feel everything she goes through as if it were happening to you! Cannot wait until the next book and hope that someone makes it into a mini-series.