So You Own a Human

A Dog's Field Guide to Managing People

Fiction - Humor/Comedy
43 Pages
Reviewed on 01/17/2024
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    Book Review

Reviewed by Rosie Malezer for Readers' Favorite

So You Own a Human: A Dog's Field Guide to Managing People is a humorous guide for dog owners and their pets by Gary C. McAuley. 'Written' by Jubilation T. Bloodhound, this guide aims to educate dogs worldwide on how to handle their humans. You see, many humans are quite clueless when a dog is adopted into their family, so within these pages, all dogs receive detailed instructions on how to take their human shopping, choose the perfect spot in the house to claim as your own, claim any/all dropped food during cooking, as well as ideal times to eat, sleep, and bark at things (repeat). Giving your human regular exercise is also essential, as is growling at a window when there is nothing to growl at. If hungry, push your dog dish around with your nose, even if it means taking the dish to the bathroom when the human is on the toilet. Wag your tail often to encourage humans that they are doing well, and always make sure they know you are the boss in the home.

As the author of several cat books, this inside look into the secretive world of dogs was most definitely a real eye-opener for me. So You Own a Human was - dare I say it - hilarious. I had no idea that dogs are the ones who make the rules in their households, but with this guide at hand, any human will never make the obvious mistakes that so many do. Gary C. McAuley and Jubilation T. Bloodhound ensure that a human's first days with their dog are less stressful and more fun, and give their humans a reason to puff out their chests with a job well done. While learning to get into a routine of how often the dog likes to be walked, fed, petted, cuddled, played sports with, made entirely comfortable, and more, a human is less likely to forget those essential elements of putting their pet on a pedestal where they absolutely belong. I wholeheartedly recommend So You Own a Human, not only to all new dog households but also to animal lovers in general from 12-150, whether in dog or human years.